Complicated
COMPLICATED
Yesterday I walked outside Just to get some sun
Then the sky fell down Laughing to myself
Cause somehow I knew That it would be raining
Always got to be......Complicated
Today I drove out to your place Just to get your smile
And I forgot to bring a flower To turn your frown
Baby you were crying Cause of the pain and cause I was trying-Complicated
Complicated Oh we shouldn't be
Everything so simple Gets confused just for me and you
-Pouring out a life On a table from the puzzle box
Put together you a prettier life On a table from the puzzle box
And then the pieces all get dropped Frazzling the vision for which we Fought
Always got to be......Complicated
Tonight I went And put it in a poem always Knowing
I can't get no gravity on my side Thought I was alive one time
But ink pens broke the news That everyone every day is surely dying
You try so hard to shine But like me you're still waiting
Waiting on a reason, Aren’t we always living in the Waiting Season
Complicated Oh we shouldn't be Everything simple,
Gets confused just for me and you
Can't take it so you hide And when I pick-up the line No one answers
Cost of Dreaming has risen so much your Realities been disconnected
Until stars come out to shine We're on the roof laughing till we're crying
Cause tomorrow this simple moment Will again be so….Complicated
“Complicated” is about just how frustrating life can be sometimes. Everything that should be so simple for some, or would be so simple for some, becomes so complicated for many of us through our own decisions or the decisions of people we have chosen to attach ourselves to that affected us, or situations that we were simply born into and had no control over. While we may wish that life came easier or simpler, without these “complications” we would never learn the skill of cherishing or the art of perseverance. How many marriages have been lost or opportunities thrown away or children left fatherless because it was all just too easy, part of a prepackaged life that was gifted to some blessed person who expected all the good things of life because they had always just “arrived”?
How many marriages and opportunities or children were just left to slip away because none of the lesser things that had come before ever required fighting for, and had always been “present” without a struggle to hold onto them? Then when the true treasures of life come, and they are the glimmer in the eye of every thief both natural and supernatural, there is no one who to defend them who was trained by his life in the art of war, the art of perseverance. Can we trust a knight still in shining armor to have faced this battle and these dragons before, or a captain whose ship has no stitches in the sail to navigate us through the midnight storms? “Your servant has struck down both lions and bears” 1 Samuel 17:36
The Story of my life has been defined by “Complications”. After having grown up desperately poor, I had determined that I didn’t want to live that way anymore and I was going to join the Air Force and have a great credit score and no bounced checks and be financially responsible, but life had other plans it seems, many of which were beyond my control. This really began when I bought a car to get to my high school job just before leaving for the United States Air Force. When I flew out to Boot Camp I unfortunately had to leave my champagne brown hotrod Toyota Corolla at home to go and make something of myself. While I was spending six weeks of my life getting screamed at by a 6’2 black man with a glass eye ball and combat boots, my father had found the key to my car and allowed my younger brother to drive the car to school (without a driver’s license I believe, which wrecked the body) and then afterwards, with a quart of beer in his hand and also no driver’s license himself, drove the vehicle until the motor blew up. When I returned from basic training and asked where my car was, I told that it was “missing”, and I do mean, “missing”. The mechanics shop it had apparently been left at was waiting to be paid for repairs but it literally disappeared from their parking lot overnight and the car dealership selling the car had went out of business, but at 20 years old I already had a repossession of my credit score that was completely out of my control. This only got more “complicated” with the military and living in Europe and not having parents to help you out of messes.
While in Basic Training life was also “Complicated” because it was the year 2000 and debit cards were a novelty at the time, only for “city people”. Everyone else from a town with no traffic light only had a checkbook. Once in Basic Training I found out that all of our paychecks were direct deposited to our banks, and in my town the only banks were small town banks you don’t have on base, and therefore the only way to get actual money was to write a check for the item and get 20 dollars cash back, with no way to “stock up” because you only have a 12 inch wide drawer for everything you own. You also need a lot of money and a lot of checks in boot camp because you have to buy pieces for you uniform, and shoe polish, and a whole list of things over those 6 weeks just to stay out of trouble. The problem was that I only had one checkbook and was running out of checks, and despite informing the bank before I left, when I called them to order more on that 3 minute once a week phone call home, all they would say is “well, can you come in we need to see you in person” or “Can’t your parents just come in and pick them up for you? I can’t understand why you can’t just have your parents come in?” This was also made “complicated” by the fact that you often switch Flights in boot camp, like my first one was too small so it was dismantled, so it changes your address. Then I moved to Technical School and still no checks there.
After Tech. School I was to sent to Germany instead of Texas again, by a complete and total miracle which involved a civilian lady who does base assignments walking all the way back to her office to unlock her door on the very last day we were allowed to trade bases, turn on her computer after hours, and let myself and a Mexican girl from my dorm building trade bases, as she was from Texas and wanted to go home, and I wanted to never see Texas again, ever. A few months after I got to Germany (in March, which should have been November but the base in Mississippi lost my Dental Records which I had to go retrieve myself from their filing cabinet, walking right past all of their staff to do it), my dad died on the 4th of July weekend while I was in Paris. So the Air Force Aide Society put me on an airplane back to Tennessee for what should have been two weeks but had to turn into a month because the schock of my dad passing away put my little brother into a facility after a failed suicide attempt, and I was the only one who could sign for his release as best I understood. I had previously attempted to have him come live with me in Germany on a hardship as a dependent but he would be turning 18 by the time that the paperwork was completed. This left me in Tennessee with no vehicle, no base cafeteria to eat at, and paying people gas to drive me all over 5 counties, and the checks I had written on base had to suddenly all become bad or I couldn’t go see my brother.
There are numerous, in fact countless, stories that I could follow this with, including not finishing my teaching license despite have two undergraduate degrees, after the school I was taking education courses from informed me that their county as well as all of the other counties would be a on a two year teacher hiring freeze as soon as I graduated, and my oldest daughter being born the semester of what should have been my student teaching (working for free for 6 months at 12 hours a day plus night classes) with a wife at the time who was a stay-at-home mom. Then the pursuit of the counseling degree, and list goes on.
The moral of the story is this however, we all have had “complications” and “situations that require explanation”, some of us far far far more than most, so we can’t always judge someone’s level of responsibility or their work ethic or their decision making by their place in life or their occupation. I am 35 years old, work at Lowe’s part time loading lumber, and have spent 12 of the past months trying to find a full time job that pays enough to support a humble lifestyle without financial stress. Most people who look at me would never guess that I spent 4 years in the Air Force, pounded papers away through nearly ten years of college, or that I have attempted to start a business, a ministry and I write books. Their assumption would be that I was on drugs or partied too hard (have actually never been drunk or high a day in my entire life), or I just never went to college. You can’t judge a person’s character by their occupation or their income.
—
Yesterday I walked outside Just to get some sun
Then the sky fell down Laughing to myself
Cause somehow I knew That it would be raining
Always got to be......Complicated
Today I drove out to your place Just to get your smile
And I forgot to bring a flower To turn your frown
Baby you were crying Cause of the pain and cause I was trying-Complicated
Complicated Oh we shouldn't be
Everything so simple Gets confused just for me and you
-Pouring out a life On a table from the puzzle box
Put together you a prettier life On a table from the puzzle box
And then the pieces all get dropped Frazzling the vision for which we Fought
Always got to be......Complicated
Tonight I went And put it in a poem always Knowing
I can't get no gravity on my side Thought I was alive one time
But ink pens broke the news That everyone every day is surely dying
You try so hard to shine But like me you're still waiting
Waiting on a reason, Aren’t we always living in the Waiting Season
Complicated Oh we shouldn't be Everything simple,
Gets confused just for me and you
Can't take it so you hide And when I pick-up the line No one answers
Cost of Dreaming has risen so much your Realities been disconnected
Until stars come out to shine We're on the roof laughing till we're crying
Cause tomorrow this simple moment Will again be so….Complicated
“Complicated” is about just how frustrating life can be sometimes. Everything that should be so simple for some, or would be so simple for some, becomes so complicated for many of us through our own decisions or the decisions of people we have chosen to attach ourselves to that affected us, or situations that we were simply born into and had no control over. While we may wish that life came easier or simpler, without these “complications” we would never learn the skill of cherishing or the art of perseverance. How many marriages have been lost or opportunities thrown away or children left fatherless because it was all just too easy, part of a prepackaged life that was gifted to some blessed person who expected all the good things of life because they had always just “arrived”?
How many marriages and opportunities or children were just left to slip away because none of the lesser things that had come before ever required fighting for, and had always been “present” without a struggle to hold onto them? Then when the true treasures of life come, and they are the glimmer in the eye of every thief both natural and supernatural, there is no one who to defend them who was trained by his life in the art of war, the art of perseverance. Can we trust a knight still in shining armor to have faced this battle and these dragons before, or a captain whose ship has no stitches in the sail to navigate us through the midnight storms? “Your servant has struck down both lions and bears” 1 Samuel 17:36
The Story of my life has been defined by “Complications”. After having grown up desperately poor, I had determined that I didn’t want to live that way anymore and I was going to join the Air Force and have a great credit score and no bounced checks and be financially responsible, but life had other plans it seems, many of which were beyond my control. This really began when I bought a car to get to my high school job just before leaving for the United States Air Force. When I flew out to Boot Camp I unfortunately had to leave my champagne brown hotrod Toyota Corolla at home to go and make something of myself. While I was spending six weeks of my life getting screamed at by a 6’2 black man with a glass eye ball and combat boots, my father had found the key to my car and allowed my younger brother to drive the car to school (without a driver’s license I believe, which wrecked the body) and then afterwards, with a quart of beer in his hand and also no driver’s license himself, drove the vehicle until the motor blew up. When I returned from basic training and asked where my car was, I told that it was “missing”, and I do mean, “missing”. The mechanics shop it had apparently been left at was waiting to be paid for repairs but it literally disappeared from their parking lot overnight and the car dealership selling the car had went out of business, but at 20 years old I already had a repossession of my credit score that was completely out of my control. This only got more “complicated” with the military and living in Europe and not having parents to help you out of messes.
While in Basic Training life was also “Complicated” because it was the year 2000 and debit cards were a novelty at the time, only for “city people”. Everyone else from a town with no traffic light only had a checkbook. Once in Basic Training I found out that all of our paychecks were direct deposited to our banks, and in my town the only banks were small town banks you don’t have on base, and therefore the only way to get actual money was to write a check for the item and get 20 dollars cash back, with no way to “stock up” because you only have a 12 inch wide drawer for everything you own. You also need a lot of money and a lot of checks in boot camp because you have to buy pieces for you uniform, and shoe polish, and a whole list of things over those 6 weeks just to stay out of trouble. The problem was that I only had one checkbook and was running out of checks, and despite informing the bank before I left, when I called them to order more on that 3 minute once a week phone call home, all they would say is “well, can you come in we need to see you in person” or “Can’t your parents just come in and pick them up for you? I can’t understand why you can’t just have your parents come in?” This was also made “complicated” by the fact that you often switch Flights in boot camp, like my first one was too small so it was dismantled, so it changes your address. Then I moved to Technical School and still no checks there.
After Tech. School I was to sent to Germany instead of Texas again, by a complete and total miracle which involved a civilian lady who does base assignments walking all the way back to her office to unlock her door on the very last day we were allowed to trade bases, turn on her computer after hours, and let myself and a Mexican girl from my dorm building trade bases, as she was from Texas and wanted to go home, and I wanted to never see Texas again, ever. A few months after I got to Germany (in March, which should have been November but the base in Mississippi lost my Dental Records which I had to go retrieve myself from their filing cabinet, walking right past all of their staff to do it), my dad died on the 4th of July weekend while I was in Paris. So the Air Force Aide Society put me on an airplane back to Tennessee for what should have been two weeks but had to turn into a month because the schock of my dad passing away put my little brother into a facility after a failed suicide attempt, and I was the only one who could sign for his release as best I understood. I had previously attempted to have him come live with me in Germany on a hardship as a dependent but he would be turning 18 by the time that the paperwork was completed. This left me in Tennessee with no vehicle, no base cafeteria to eat at, and paying people gas to drive me all over 5 counties, and the checks I had written on base had to suddenly all become bad or I couldn’t go see my brother.
There are numerous, in fact countless, stories that I could follow this with, including not finishing my teaching license despite have two undergraduate degrees, after the school I was taking education courses from informed me that their county as well as all of the other counties would be a on a two year teacher hiring freeze as soon as I graduated, and my oldest daughter being born the semester of what should have been my student teaching (working for free for 6 months at 12 hours a day plus night classes) with a wife at the time who was a stay-at-home mom. Then the pursuit of the counseling degree, and list goes on.
The moral of the story is this however, we all have had “complications” and “situations that require explanation”, some of us far far far more than most, so we can’t always judge someone’s level of responsibility or their work ethic or their decision making by their place in life or their occupation. I am 35 years old, work at Lowe’s part time loading lumber, and have spent 12 of the past months trying to find a full time job that pays enough to support a humble lifestyle without financial stress. Most people who look at me would never guess that I spent 4 years in the Air Force, pounded papers away through nearly ten years of college, or that I have attempted to start a business, a ministry and I write books. Their assumption would be that I was on drugs or partied too hard (have actually never been drunk or high a day in my entire life), or I just never went to college. You can’t judge a person’s character by their occupation or their income.
Prayer for Those Who Find It All Too Complicated
To The God Who Works All Things Out For the Good of those who Love Him
We ask that you gather our Tragedies and transform them into Triumphs
We ask that our Empty Hands be open to Lift Others out of the Pit
We ask that you place these Broken Pieces into a Mosaic of Perseverance
We ask that you fashion our Red Cheeks into War Paint
We ask that you give our Pain a Purpose
“Now we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:28 TLV
Resource: “The Lion’s Path” Radio Show with Cole Davis
Episode-Overcoming Our Upbringing
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