Abba's Beautiful Child


 Abba’s Beautiful Child

You see a blue and green world

Through dark brown eyes

You find a smiling future

Despite the frowning times

Chorus:
Youll always be

Running towards the rainbow

At the end of the line

Youll always be

Abbas beautiful child

-Turn all the bad days around just fine

And Im thankful that you are a friend of mine

The past cant hold you in place

Cant pin you down with shame

Cant corrupt your heart with hate

Cause the future calls your name

The bright days are waiting

Got no time to waste

In the Rain

Chorus:

You see a blue and green world

Through dark brown eyes

You find a smiling future

Despite the frowning times

Youll always be

Running towards the rainbow

At the end of the line

Youll always be

Abbas beautiful child

-Falling down again

But you get back up

The whole world would crumble in

But all you need is love

To pick yourself back up

So your blue and green view

Through your dark brown eyes

Will never fade

To black and gray

Abbas little girl

And that will never change

Chorus:

You see a blue and green world

Through dark brown eyes

You find a smiling future

Despite the frowning times

Youll always be

Running towards the rainbow

At the end of the line

Youll always be

Abbas beautiful child

Abba’s Beautiful Child was written when I was in college in Nashville and a friend from Jamaica put a wonderful piano tune to it that day at Belmont University. My daughters were years from being born but there were people in my life at the time who really embodied many of the things I would come to love about both Aliyahna and Shema and that gave me a momentary glimpse of the childlike heart. It was really a foreshadowing my future blessing of two daughters that are truly do see a blue and green world through dark brown eyes (they both have their mom’s dark brown eyes). Unfortunately all too often we look at children as a burden or as a threat to our freedom, which seems to make sense looking at the outside, especially in a modern world which offers more seeming “freedom” to travel, go to college, change cities, change jobs, than any other point in History. There is a heavy price to be paid for this supposed freedom however, as we never really grow past our selfishness until we are parents, we never really know what an unselfish Agape Love is, and in so many ways we just don’t understand the heart of the Abba Creator. We fear losing the life we have in front of us by our own design but we don’t fear losing the life that we were designed for.
At the end of the day, we were designed for this parenting thing, to be Fathers or Mothers, Husbands or Wives, Stewards of the Earth and Priests upon the Earth are the only roles that we are absolutely meant for. History proves this, Biology proves this, Scripture proves this and the rest is either an artificial purpose that society has instilled in us over the years by redefining “success” or a lesser purpose we have taken upon ourselves. There are exceptions such as Moses or Nehemiah or King David who had purposes chosen by the Creator for the purpose of the Creator, which is a far different driving in life that winning American Idol or a bucket list developed watching the Travel Channel that children would “interfere” with. As the Indigo Girls sing “somewhere we have lost something precious”.
Being a mother or a father calls up what is deep within us that we never knew existed. We watch the UFC Fighter let a 3 year old girl put bows in his hair to make her daddy “pretty”, we watch the most timid of men fight off a burglar with a lampstand to keep him away from his children’s room, or the most stern faced business man cry a river of tears at his daughter’s wedding, or the most distant of engineers sit beside his 5 year old son all morning with a fishing pole. We also see the beauty of any woman amplified by leaps and bounds the moment she cuddles a baby or wipes the tears away from a scraped knee or bakes with a little person in a flour covered apron. Parenting brings out both the strength and the beauty we never knew we had before, that no one knew we had before.
Parenting is also good for our marriages if we keep our homes in proper order, modeling for the children how to put their spouse first (even above the children within reason). So many children grow up the center of their parent’s universe and then grow up to be so self-centered that they cannot have a functional marriage themselves. After years of neglecting a spouse for the sake of the children, one spouse leaves the union before the children leave the home or once the children leave the home there is nothing to hold the parents together anymore except 20 years of a seeming “Sacred Neglect” where they raised children but did not grow in intimacy by taking care of each other as well, counselors call this an “Empty Nest Divorce.” But if it’s done right, the father never allows the children to disrespect his wife, the wife fixes her husband’s plate first, they are both united and not divided in discipline, the children will have the blessing of a household in order to look back on when they become spouse and parents one day and are seeking answers and navigation for their own adulthood, and there are grandparents living together still that are a role model for their own future children.

In most cultures having multiple children was considered a blessing, possibly because the survival of the clan depended on being larger than the other clan, sometimes because children were contributors instead of consumers who learned responsibility towards their family at an early age, sometimes because they were not considered obstacles or distractions from the things only 21st Century Americans could afford such as foreign travel and 6 years of college and most often simply because they brought joy to their parents and grandparents and siblings. The families of the old ways also understood that when we all grow old the more children we have raised in the fear of YHVH, the less likely we are to be that frail body and lonely heart in the nursing home who has not heard the laughter of a child or held the hand of someone who loves us for years upon years as we chased a few short years of “freedom” and “independence”.
Nations that seek to limit their children are often outnumbered by the immigrants in their nation, such as one child Germans are experiencing now being out populated by the 5 child Turks, or they raise a generation that is almost a detriment to the nation’s future such as one child China’s “Little Emperor’s” that have never learned to share life with a brother or sister. These are the natural cause and effect of nations that do not trust their Creator when He said that Children are a Blessing. He designed Children to be a Blessing, to their parents, to their siblings, to their grandparents (who have reached a point in life of waking up from social fabrications to realize what is important), and they are a blessing to their Nation if their hearts and mind are cultivated in order and love instead of chaos and self-centeredness. When we miss out on children, we never become who were truly, truly are for the sake of becoming someone we are truly, truly not just because the box in our living room told us that it had to be so or we were missing out on “life”.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 123:7
Children are a blessing, and we often don’t realize how much of a blessing they are until you lose them. I lost mine for a short time once, for a short time that was so painful that it seems as if it would never end. The worst harm that can be inflicted upon a parent is to either harm their child, or use the child to harm them, or as vengeful spouses often sink to, be so eager to harm a husband or wife that they will go to any extreme to harm their spouse. Sometimes they will even be so eager to harm their spouse they will harm their child in the process and justify it by any means available or hold the children hostage away from the spouse (the children away from their father or mother) so they can obtain everything they “feel” they deserve in a divorce. This is the most accepted form of child abuse, kidnapping and legalized hostage taking of children through the courts by using gender for sympathy or money for power in a Jezebel Legal System.
I experienced this, countless men I know personally have experienced this form of injustice, and even a few women as well (though it is nearly always the father who is treated as if he has no important place in a child’s life because of his gender, but is simply needed for his pocketbook). One of my best friend’s couldn’t afford a lawyer so his oldest child is being raised by two literal Satanists, and his daughter now has a step-brother named “Lucifer”, which is accepted by the courts because the Satanists have more money for lawyers than the Christian/Hebrew does. My own children now have “two mommies” as their mom has a girlfriend, which is perfectly accepted by the American Legal System as long its the female parent with a lawyer that leads that lfiestyle. While this is spiritually very worrisome to me, the new person in her life has seemingly stabilized some of the erratic behaviors like locking my then 3 year outside the house in July because she was having a tantrum at the moment or letting the dishes sit for a week. Their mother has also started to use common courtesy on most occasions and to be reasonable in things like agreeing to meet halfway to exchange the girls instead of making me drive to another county every time.
Despite all the pain of not seeing my children for a month, and not being sure when I would see them again as she had petitioned for me to only be able to see them supervised (for a fee of 40 dollars an hour to the State ) for a year which was later to the utter bewilderment of the judge, good finally came out of the situation. My faith was greatly increased by the events of the next 12 months and beyond after the day I lost my children due to a 6’1 woman who weighs as much or more than I did, slapping me (for over the 20th time) in front of my children just to prove she was in charge, and I slapped her back in self-defense which turned into a full three page story that never happened, which utterly contradicted the 30 minute story she told a year later when we finally got to divorce. In these situations, if the man calls the cops he is going to jail once the big dramatic 3 page story is made up by the woman in the situation, or even if she goes to jail, the children have to watch their mother be arrested and then he has to find a daycare in 24 hours and pay for it if he doesn’t have parents to help out with the children (and her parents wouldn’t be an option). In those 12 months on not knowing how custody would play out since I couldn’t afford a lawyer after having to start my life again from nothing (and not having parents to bankroll me) I developed a much greater appreciation for time with my children and intentionality in my parenting with them.
When I was made homeless by the divorce I didn’t know anyone in Georgia except the Pastor that I was starting a Church with and one of our deacons, neither of which could house me (and their written statement about witnessing the big mark on my face couldn't be admitted to evidence because I didn't have parents to buy me a lawyer), but if I left Georgia to move back to Tennessee where I am from I could lose parental rights due to “abandonment”. If I stayed in Georgia I could still possibly not have visitation because I couldn’t find ‘suitable living arrangements” within 30 days of being made homeless on 15 minutes notice and only the belongings that could fit into my car, while still being required to pay rent on 2 houses, utilities, phone, etc. (which were always behind to begin with) for a house that no one else lived in (as my ex moved in with her parents then her sister) but wouldn’t let me live their either. I knew I couldn’t leave my children though, I had seen fatherlessness and its results in girls up close and personal. I knew they would always be told a story about how their daddy just didn’t want to see them anymore, and I knew that the enemy had his sights on my oldest daughter and was waiting on an opportunity to shatter her spirit as soon as he could without her father there. But if I went back to Tennessee, I could have a place to sleep, an emotional support system, and a job in a hurry. My daughters would just have no daddy and I would have no honor.
This was a tragic event but it has given me a voice of sorts for the tens of thousands of men who are being mistreated by a Jezebel/Ahab Court System and also greatly increased my faith and made me a better parent than I was before, as when my oldest daughter was a baby and a toddler I was too busy trying to pay the bills by myself and go to school so I could pay the bills on time and keep the family together in a family that valued men only for the money they made to really spend quality time just playing her. I simply felt like I didn’t have time too because if I didn’t start making more money, get a ministry off the ground, get a degree, finish writing a book, then my ex would get tired of being poor and would run off with the kids (again) which would make them fatherless or we would end up homeless trying to pay rent in a house or apartment that would meet her standards. We had agreed to homeschool before we got married, to my understanding which would be common sense to most, if we could pay the bills with that arrangement and she would contribute from home or take care of the house so I could do everything else to keep us afloat, but I was left to do most everything on my own anyway.
By the time my second daughter was born I was intentionally spending time more with both children after my full time job, after 18 hours of classes, after also doing the dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping, taking out the trash, and most of the responsibilities of my ex-wife in addition to picking up fast food on the way home as she often “didn’t feel” like cooking either. I put up with a lot during the marriage because I didn’t want to see my children fatherless, and also put up with a lot during and after the divorce, including sleeping on a couch in the ghetto for 10 dollars a night so I could stay in the same State as my girls. Driving to another county to pick them up for 3 hours every Tuesday because their mom wouldn’t meet me hallway, and being treated like a criminal because someone had absolutely no hesitations about lying under oath.
The things I miss the most are when my girls were little Shema Yisrael, my youngest daughter, would only go to sleep for me, so I had to come home on my lunch break in Georgia and dance with her until she fell asleep on my arms when she was a baby. My oldest daughter Aliyahna Shalom would only go to sleep on her “Daddy Pillow” every night which was my outstretched arm and shoulder when she was a toddler, and I had to sometimes come home on my lunch break because she was crying and her mother had locked her outside of the house in July so she was just standing by the door screaming to be let back in. After they were in bed I would work on homework for Seminary while doing all the dishes, all the laundry, working on a website for the Church I was helping to start, while their mom just slept through the night for 3 years afterwards. It was a huge and hard adjustment for both the girls and I after daddy wasn’t there to tuck them in every night, even if I was still able to see them after work and on the weekends though, and try to take them to Church when I could eventually drag their mother there as she had to watch the baby while I helped out at Church and had to preach a sermon once, fighting all the way to the parking lot. Thankfully she has them in a Christian Homeschool program now.
It is hard be a Dad, but it’s a lot harder to have children and not be their father. It is also my favorite job. I dread the day they are old enough to realize that their dad is poor and can’t give them the things other kids have, but for now they are three and six and the Dollar Tree can be called “The Toy Store” and ice cream at Chic-Filla is just as good as Disney World. Having a daughter is like someone took your heart and let it walk around outside of your body. They are the ones I live for and would fight to the death for if it was required of me to keep them safe.
Prayer for Abba’s Beautiful Children
Only Perfect Father
We come to you as Fathers and as Mothers
We come to you as Guardians of the Innocent
We come to you as Guides and Teachers for those following us on the Path
We come to you as Providers and Protectors of the Lives you have Entrusted to Us
We ask for Your Strength and that you Train our Hands for War
As we Fight for their Fragile Hearts
We ask that You lend us the Mind of Messiah, Who Loved Perfectly
As we teach them Your Ways which always lead to Life, as our ways only lead to Death
We ask for your Provision, as this World has been left a desolate battlefield by our Ancestors
As we seek to nourish them into bearing good fruit in their bodies, minds, hearts and Spirits
We ask that you Forgive us our frayed Patience
We ask that you Heal our battered Places
We ask that you Pull us from the Fires we started in Foolishness
We ask that you Mend the Hearts we have Broken
We ask that you glue the Covenants we have left to come Undone
We ask that none of these be their Legacy as it was for Us
We ask most of all, that our Children walk 
In the Shalom that we did Not.

“A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon.
Unless ADONAI builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless ADONAI watches over the city,
the watchman stands guard in vain.
In vain you rise up early and stay up late,
eating the bread of toil—
for He provides for His beloved ones even in their sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage of ADONAI
—the fruit of the womb is a reward.
As arrows in the hand of a mighty man,
so are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they speak with their enemies at the gate.”
Psalm of David 127


Court Appointed Special Advocate for Children Program

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